I Prescribe: Baby Tattoos

For: Dedication, Revenge, Rebellion

Prescriber’s Notes: And your parents thought you were done pissing them off when you assumed the mantle of responsible adulthood and became a parent yourself? Nahhh! You were just getting fired up. We know you are sick of waiting for Jr to get enough hair for a mohawk. So why not embrace his baldness and place one of these tats right up on top of his noggin? Go for broke with parent/child matching tats. Ah, family!

I Prescribe: Zipper Necklace

For: Getting your act together, rebellion, punk nostalgia

Prescriber’s Notes: You make cool look easy, you know that? It’s a little unfair really, since this may be your greatest success. But work it, with the ease of working a zipper. Everyone will copy you and by then you will have moved on. Who knows what you’ll wear next. Send the zipper necklace here when you’re done with it?

I Prescribe: Denim Hip Pouch

For: Feeling Overburdened, Rebellion, Octomom

Prescriber’s Notes: You love your handbags but you have your hands full. Fanny Pack? Perish the thought! Keep your hips hip with something custom crafted like this hip pouch from Kaylim,

For: Repression, Rebellion, Naughtiness

Prescriber’s Notes: Spent one too many Saturday nights in with the Colin Firth edition of Pride and Prejudice have you? And admit it, you have the librarian fantasy. The one where you wear the glasses and your hair is up? Underneath that prim and proper suit, you’ve got a sexy secret. Now all you need is your own Mr Darcy to magically appear between the stacks.

I Prescribe: Wireless Phone Receiver by Yubz

For: Nostalgia, Rebellion, Fear of appearing Schizophrenic

Prescriber’s Notes: Picture this: You are sitting in your parked car, wearing your nearly invisible bluetooth earpiece, having a lively conversation with your broker. The gal in the car next to you, gives you the look. You know the “is she crazy or is she talking on her cell?” look. Save face and have some fun too with this nifty retro receiver. Extra style points if you walk and talk in public places with this fab phone.

I Prescribe: Cheetos Crunchy Cheese Puffs

For: Rejection, Rebellion, Failure, Hitting Rock Bottom

Prescriber’s Notes: Oh well you gave it a go. Maybe you tried too hard, even. And here you are, picking yourself off the ground, dusting off your knees. Everyone falls down. Do something crazy. Something reckless. Something that turns your hands orange and blows your diet to shreds. Crunch as loudly as possible. Lick your fingers. Wipe hands on shirt. No where to go but up now!