I Prescribe: Slide to Unlock Doormat

For: Grandstanding, Nerdvana, iHome

Prescriber’s Notes: You’ve just arrived home in your black turtle neck and jeans after making audacious product announcements, so where do you wipe your iShoes? Well, these people have the answer. (Disclaimer – Does not really unlock your iHome but you wish it did)

I Prescribe: iHome iH16G iPod/iPhone Speaker Dock

For: Lethargy, Idleness, Releasing your inner “Say Anything”

Prescriber’s Notes: Are you someone who keeps the soundtrack to your life on your iPod? Well, those tiny speakers just aren’t going to cut it! Get BIG sound in a small package. Sure, it doesn’t have the same effect of holding a Boom-Box over your head but the sound is pretty darn close.

For: Talkativeness, Power-texting, Effervescence

Prescriber’s Notes: How are you supposed to carry on the day without doubling the battery of your iPhone 3G? Get first place in that texting marathon or listen to how your best friends, friends, friend got banned from Facebook. Excuse me, I have a call.

I prescribe: SlingPlayer Mobile for iPhone

For: Listlessness, avoiding eye-contact

Prescriber’s Notes: Waiting for that next appointment to start or you’ve already read the Newsweek circa May 2006 in the waiting room? Catch up on the score of that game or see what they’re going to blow up next on the Discovery Channel by watching your home television in the palm of your hand. Killing time never felt so good.