I Prescribe: Party Poppers

For: Party Poopers, Coming down easy, Keeping the Kids on their toes

Prescriber’s Notes: Nursing a hangover? Still hearing the sound of that M80 echoing in your left ear? Kids making you a little crazy? These’ll liven things up. Best part is you don’t even have to leave your hammock to use them. The holiday weekend’s not over till YOU say it’s over.

I Prescribe: Generation Tee Book

For: Boredom, Poverty, Fashion Crisis

Prescriber’s Notes: You’re home alone with a stack of ugly freebie tees and nothing to wear? Why not turn em into a whole new wardrobe. Emerge Scarlett O’Hara like from Tara your apartment in your couture curtains tee creations. Use what you got.

I Prescribe: uGallop

For: Flabby Abs, Boring Workouts,  Missing the Rodeo Circuit

Prescriber’s Notes: You might look silly, but this machine will work those abs like nobody’s business.  You’ll bounce up and down, left and right, back and forth…I won’t go on.  Hop on one of these and it will be one of the only times your feet will be in stirrups and you’ll still be having fun!

I Prescribe: Octodog Octopus Hotdog Converter

For: Veganism, Squidaphobes, Humorlessness

Prescriber’s Notes: Is that tofu dog keeping your toddler from chanelling his inner carnivore? Do you secretly fear he’ll turn out…well…soft? Afraid of stuff? Then it’s time to man him up. You can start by making his Tof-Octodog attack the organic corn on the cob. Before you know it he’ll be asking to shish kabob his own innocent veggies.

I prescribe: Allrecipes.com Dinner Spinner

For: Feeling clueless, overloaded, bored with the same old recipes

Prescriber’s Notes: Finally, an answer to the lament, “What’s for dinner?!”: “‘Round and ‘Round she goes, where she stops, no one knows!” Vegetarian appetizer for bunko get-together? Check! Chocolate crock-pot recipe? Check!