Retail Therapy, Shopping prescriptions for all of life’s problems!

I Prescribe: The Ex knife block

For: Bitter Divorces, Bad Breakups, An alternative to manslaughter

Prescriber’s Notes: Sure you’d like to have revenge on your ex, but prison time is such a pesky interruption to your retail therapy pursuits. If anyone calls you psycho just tell them it is an objet d’art and a relative in France sent it to you. You may want to remove the photo of your ex from the face of the knife block when/if your ex inlaws or his friends come over.

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I Prescribe: Utili-key

For: Go To Guys, Screwing Stuff, Getting out of your “All talk no action” rut

Prescriber’s Notes: So you like to think of yourself as prepared in a crisis. Yet the last time something needed screwing you were without so much as a butter knife in your arsenal. And that’s just tools we’re talking about. Don’t be that guy. We have the key to your self respect right here.

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I Prescribe: Jasmine Ruffled Custom Panties

For: Ruffling HIS feathers, Naughtiness, Blooming Bloomers

Prescriber’s Notes: Behold my Bum. Is it not round, fluffy, perfect? Although this underwear will make your ass look big, it’s got a fun and festive air to it. Save it for special occasions though. Wouldn’t want to be wearing it when you go to the gym, for instance.

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I Prescribe: Calafant Cardboard Treehouse

For: That twitchy feeling induced by flashing, singing, bilingual, battery operated toys. Kids who prefer boxes to the toys inside them, Overstimulation

Prescriber’s Notes: The price is right and the product is adorable. Here’s a toy that will quench their thirst for imaginative play, and give you no guilt when you recycle it.

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I Prescribe: Rody Horse from Maukilo

For: Disappointment, Rainy Days, Getting your yayas out

Prescriber’s Notes: You had big plans to build a snowman with your BFF but it poured and now the yard is a mudpit. Your mom says you gotta hang out in the basement. Bummer. But do you flop on the floor? No, you bounce, my friend. Ain’t nobody gonna get you down. You’re riding off into the kitchen sunset on your trusted steed.

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I Prescribe:  Vintage Dictionary Pendant

For:  Pretending you know some big words; anyone who has always wanted to cut up a book; people who never figured out the art of spelling correctly.

Prescriber’s Notes:  This pendant is creative, simple, and meaningful if you are into that kind of thing.  Choose any word in the dictionary that describes you, your family, or, most usefully, a word that describes how you would like people perceive you as.  It’s a fantasty on a little tile.

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I Prescribe: Family Car Stickers

For: Getting Lost in the Rat Race, Boring Rear Windshields, Stepford Moms

Prescriber’s Notes: Have you always wanted to stand out from the crowd while still fitting in? Does your minivan need a little oomph? Or just a little something to distinguish it from the 20 other identical models in the school/mall parking lot? It’s time to get personal with it. Pick from stock characters or create your own.

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I Prescribe: Janine King Designs Camera & Lens Bags

For: Protecting your Image, Protecting your Investments, Investing in looking good at all times

Prescriber’s Notes: Image makers may be image obsessed but sometimes that doesn’t transfer to ourselves. Take some pride in your own (and your sweet camera’s) appearance by packing up your pride and joy in one of these lovely bags.

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I Prescribe: GT’s Organic Raw Kombucha & Synergy Drinks

For: Pretty much any Human Ailment, Grossing out and Impressing your Friends, Winning the Crunchy Contest

Prescriber’s Notes: This stuff is jam packed with living goodness. It’s raw, vegan, kosher, anti (bad) bacterial, anti fungal, anti everything evil and bad basically and it will make you live forever, lose weight, poop regularly, never get sick, have perfect skin, and a fabulous sex life to boot. Think I’m exagerrating? Yeah, you got me. But Kombucha has been used for centuries to improve health and well being and this is the first version we’ve found that does not gross us out. Best sipped from a wine glass.

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