Retail Therapy, Shopping prescriptions for all of life’s problems!

I Prescribe: Fit In Clouds Shoes

For: Long-suffering toes

Prescriber’s Notes: High heels.  They look sexy and dressy, but torture your innocent toes.  Pack a pair of these purdy pocket-sized pantofle and your piggies won’t protest!  At the nightclub, wedding reception, office, anyplace that heels go, so should your emergency Fit In Clouds.

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I Prescribe: Ginormous Gummy Bears

For: Naysayers, Impossible Dreamers, Anyone who’s ever been shot down

Prescriber’s Notes: Sweet! You got a big dream? We’ve got a big gelatinous bear shaped candy. Somehow it’s gonna happen. It’s just so right.

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I Prescribe: Halo Pillow

For: Posessed Parents, Demonic offspring looking to fake out exorcists.

Prescriber’s Notes: Your little angel is SO PRECIOUS. She must have dropped from a cloud. She can do no wrong. This glow in the dark case is just a manifestation of her awesomeness. Then again, it’s a good idea to sleep one of these into your demonic teen’s room. Just for the ha ha hell of it.  And just in case anyone things it might be an idea to sprinkle him with holy water.

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I Prescribe: Mind Flex Games

For: Powerlessness, Impotence, Dreams of RULING THE WORLD WITH YOUR MIND

Prescriber’s Notes: You always knew you were special. That you had a gift. It’s a little spooky even how you control the world with your mind. Finally Mattel recognizes your awesome potential.

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I Prescribe: Shower Shock Shower Gel

For: All Nighters, Impatience, Skipping Breakfast, Pep Rallies

Prescriber’s Notes: Trying to cut your morning routine in half? Get showered and caffeinated without having to brew any beverages or pop any can tops. This shower gel delivers caffeine without any need for imbibing. Also it makes you clean.

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I Prescribe: Posh By Tori Bangle Clutch Bags

For: Stylish moms out on the town…or moms whose kids are nearly potty trained

Prescriber’s Notes: Bangle Clutch, Diaper Clutch, whatever you want to call this bag, it’s the most practical, most complimented bag that I own (I actually have 3!).  It is the perfect size for a small wallet, keys, phone, and lipstick…or it is the perfect size for a diaper and some travel wipes.  The best part?  The bangle.  A hands-free clutch.  And it’s majorly on sale (which I would not tell you about until I had bought up the remaining colors that I did not already own.)

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I Prescribe: Izmir Measuring Cups

For: Overconfident bakers, Bohemian Dinner Party Hostesses, Culinary Success despite yourself

Prescriber’s Notes: “Measuring cups are so confining. So ugly. So clinical. Can we not free ourselves from the constraints of society’s “measurements” and cook with our souls, get back to the real meaning of the food, the ingredients, the interaction of the spirit and spice of each fresh organic offerring…. ” Uh. Yeah. But just in case someone’s crazy hippie aunt needs a little direction, here are some measuring cups that don’t look like measuring cups, m’kay?

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I Prescribe: Magpie Lovely Ruffled Shirt Long Sleeve

For: Feeling oh-so-pretty, closet blahs

Prescriber’s Notes: Your gal pals call and want to meet at the corner bar in 15 minutes for a well-deserved Gals Night Out. You: in sweatpants and coffee-stained tee.  What to wear? You whip open your closet and find *THIS*!  With skinny jeans and flats…or black pencil skirt and sexy heels.  You go, Girl!

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I Prescribe: Vespa Scooters Limited Edition Beco Baby Carrier

For: Anyone who wants to look super awesome while hauling around the baby in your life (the one that’s not your husband).

Prescriber’s Notes: Whenever I see someone scooting around in a Vespa, my heart skips a beat, and I just stare after it until it’s gone on the horizon (which can take a while with them going 35 mph and all).  It’s one of those things that takes you to another place.  Not only are Vespas pretty-pretty, they are European coolness we don’t see much around here.  And since you’ve given up hope riding a Vespa for a few years having chosen the baby over scooting, you can get the second best thing!  Carry your baby in this Vespa Beco, and pretend it’s not a consolation prize.

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